Why Aren’t Terrorists Protesting the Gay Vegan Hemp Store?

Found flier warns of terrorist protesters.

Found flier warns of terrorist protesters.

A flier found in Portland warns that “terrorist” animal rights activists are…watch out…being effective!

Ongoing anti-fur protests by Portland animal rights activists have helped shut down one fur salon, Schumacher Furs. (The owner unsuccessfully tried to retaliate by calling on federal prosecutors to use the Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act against the protesters).

Now activists are protesting Ungar Furs. But be careful, everyone, the grammatically-impaired right-wingers of the Republic of Portland are not going to take your Constitutionally-protected activity lying down!

“Why wait till they are in front of your business protesting. Stop these Terrorists now! There is something called The Animal Enterprise Terrorism Act that is supposed to protect merchants from these people but the left wingers who run Portland will not stand up for decent folk trying to make a living. If they were protesting in front of a gay vegan hemp store, you bet your ass the city would be trying to stop them. Enough is enough. The last time I looked this was America.”

And the last time I looked there was still a First Amendment.

But hold up, forget all of my typical “protect the Constitution” rhetoric. Gay vegan hemp store? How have I never heard of this magical place?

If such a place were to exist, it would truly represent a “domestic terrorist” Axis of Evil. On this site we’ve seen how Pat Boone is fighting “sexual jihadists” and homo-grown terrorism. We’ve seen how “vegetarians are terrorist scum.” And we’ve seen how environmental activists like Tim DeChristopher are “eco-terrorists.”

This store would reflect a dangerous new development in the War on Terror, and the unification of the gays, the vegans and the hippies into the Holy Trinity of Terrorism.

Maybe it could move in to the vegan mini-mall? I hear the hemp-lovers at Food Fight have a vegan cheese pump.

(Thanks to Chad for sending the photo.)

Related posts:

  • I’m pretty sure all hemp is vegan. But I had no idea it had a sexual preference. I DO know it’s important to distinguish the gender of the cannabis plant.
  • maya
    gay vegan hemp store? yes, please!

    this is a great blog. thanks for writing, will! portland is great and i am proud to say we shut down schumacher.
  • Thanks, Maya!
  • The day I skin animals and anally electrocute them for a living is the day I will welcome my locks being glued.

    Bravo to the store shutting down.

    LOL at the notice put up.

    Joe, if you are in charge of wildlife, why do you think the people that exploit and destroy wildlife should be so protected but those who seek to stop that should have most of their rights violated? Just curious.

    USDA are you?
  • Joe
    Barb, I work for the government but I have nothing to do with Mexico drug cartels or teenage mutant hitmen. My main focus is fish, wildlife and protecting the environment. When I said reading this blog helps me with my job at public meetings where AR people may be I didn't mean that it helps me deceive them in any way. I meant I get a better insight to the reason for their point of veiw and maybe change our plans so that all are somewhat happy.
  • If you watched the Fur PSA on furkills.org you could understand why activists act despite a possible AETA terrorism enhancement felony indictment. The Womyn's Fire Brigade of Vancouver, B.C. firebombed numerous porn shops where rape & snuff films were distributed. If property damage is an alternative to inspiring a serial rapist/killer, I support that. The legal system is contemptuous of each new evolutionary social step because law is enforcement focused and not inspired to formulate, investigate and suggest advancements to social justice. If the legal protests become impossible, then illegal acts will be inevitable.
  • Fredo
    In the article provided by Barb, the prosecutors accuse Halladay of making "a mockery of the law." It is hard to believe that anyone associated with the DOJ (which gave the green light to torture, renditions to places like Syria, illegal wiretaping, etc) would have the nerve to make such a statement. Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely.
  • Kathy
    I think Joe is hurt that no animal rights activists have deemed him worthy of being targeted. Maybe if someone would go by and toilet paper his house and write ALF in chalk on his driveway........
  • I always think it funny that fur stores blame protestors when they close when the truth is that the fur business has been in decline for years because the general population has begun to think differently about fur. Fur stores are closing all over the place and most have never been protested against personally, their business is just no longer profitable. That's capitalism for ya. As consumer demand changes long time businesses sometimes fail, look at GM.
  • Barb
    Will...did you hear theu just jailed Jordan Halladay for contempt of court!
    http://www.deseretnews.com/article/1,5143,70529...
  • Ian
    Joe is a real Moron..

    Keep reporting the Real Truth Will,

    this is one of my Fav sites . Ian XVX

    *ref Dark Side
    I hate Star Wars but that made me Laugh
  • Thanks Ian!
  • Barb
    Joe says: "...but reading this site I think helps me do my job better when I prepare for public meetings where AR people may be at."

    Both you, and the FBI's time would be better spent reading up on the Mexican drug cartel trained American teenaged 'hit men' who are KILLING U.S. citizens...now that's real terrorism!
  • Joe:
    I understand what you're saying. But what you don't seem to realize is that the anonymous people who are involved with illegal activities (lock gluing, etc) are NOT the same as those who protest outside the store. I have been involved in hundreds of legal demonstrations, and let me tell you one thing--you are absolutely not allowed to block doors. When the police show up, as they often do, that is the first thing they say. You are not allowed to intimidate potential customers, either. All you can do is state the facts and hope that it will change their minds enough that they won't want to shop at that particular business anymore.

    That's perfectly legal, and it should be in a democratic country.

    If there was any proof that the protesters outside a store were the same ones doing illegal, underground activities, it would be a different situation. But there isn't any evidence of that, since it would be pretty stupid.
  • l(A)ntz.
    @ Joe: Protestors never "block" the entrance to the store. They're simply outside demonstrating, which is a legal right of theirs. If approaching customers see the error of their ways, that's great. If they're too annoyed to go into the store and buy a product made from torture (think anal electrocution), that's also great.

    Any kind of direct action that happens outside of that is not linked to the protests. PERIOD. Your argument, as usual, has no leg to stand on. If other people want to glue locks and smash windows, that's their own thing. It's got nothing to do with the people who are legally assembled (what? Freedom of Assembly, you say?) in front of the store.

    Hey, slavery used to be legal. Let's just bring back all the bullshit that made up this country, eh? And why not? Don't people have a "right" to conduct their LEGAL businesses? Like slave trades and child prostitution rings?

    Get better soon.


    @ Will: Dude, they got rid of the cheese pump. :( Because the kid from Home Improvement and his wife got divorced so now there's no more delicious cashew cheese. I died a little the day that happened. When you see me, I will simply be only a fragment of the person I used to be.
  • WHAT! THAT'S IT LANTZ, THE PORTLAND TRIP IS OFF!

    No speaking events until I get me some cheese pump and a bowl of green and red M&Ms.
  • Joe
    Dave, I don't have anything better to do right now. I got hurt at work(I'll be alright I know you are all concerned) and I am home now.

    I love how animal rights "activist" deny everything, yet post everything they do. How is gluing locks protected free speech? How is blocking entry to a store free speech? How is breaking windows free speech? Here are just a few things I found from a search on these 2 LEGAL fur stores.

    I do read this site Dave, I think Will is a fine writer who spends a little too much time protecting the dark side but reading this site I think helps me do my job better when I prepare for public meetings where AR people may be at.


    From Bite Back
    "Friday Aug 25 : Schumacher furs lock glued and spray painted 'If your conscience doesn't keep you up at night - we will.'

    From Indymedia
    The usual fake flowers, plastic manikins, and fur from tortured dead animals adorned Schumacher Furs display windows this week, while outside the Shop of Death a lively celebration of life, hope, and protest against unbearable cruelty was taking place. Throughout the day, over 50 protesters chanted, passed out literature, danced to live bagpipe music, chalked lovely pictures of animals on the sidewalk, celebrated the birthday of one of the protesters, and ate vegan treats (4 dozen cupcakes, 6 dozen cookies, banana bread, and a birthday cake).


    Portland made history with the shutting down of schumacher furs but there is still much more work to be done. We must continue the fight and let others know that we will not tolerate fur stores in our city. Nicholas Ungar Furs, you are next...

    We are going to be there every Saturday. Come and join us to stand up for the animals!

    The store is only open from the the hours of 10am to 1pm on Saturdays so lets all get out there!


    From ALF

    Two locks were glued, windows smashed and glass bricks destroyed at Nicholas Ungar Furs.
  • The things posted on Bite Back are anonymous, underground actions. This is a PROTEST. And unless the activists were "dancing" with guns in the air and a WMD in the bagpipe... give it a rest.
  • "I think Will is a fine writer who spends a little too much time protecting the dark side"

    Hey, if we're going to use Star Wars analogies, I stand firmly on the side of the Rebel Alliance, against empires.
  • teresa
    Close as many fur stores as possible, I say! These bloody sadists have no right to operate that kind of "business" at the animals' expense. For once, people, what is morally right must come before this pathetic " business at any and all costs" attitude.
  • I want to know who the leader of our Holy Trinity of Terrorism would be. I think gay vegan hippies need to start applying.
  • Dave
    Joe, do you really never have anything better to do?

    No one involved in protests at any of those locations do any of those things, so your comparison doesn't really make any sense. In fact, the AETA has been used so far only to stop people from doing things that all fall under protected speech in other contexts. Do you actually read this site or do you just post the same inane garbage every day once you get a rough idea of the topic?
  • Joe
    Doesn't Unger furs have a right to conduct its LEGAL business without obstruction from outside sources? Because the government steps in to protect the rights of Unger Furs does not mean they are trying to take away your first amendment rights. Think of it this way, if Ford sent people over to Chevy to block customers from going in,to vandalize or block the doors the police would also step in there and let chevy go on unimpeded. Unger Furs deserves the same right to do business as any other business.
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